The time has finally come for us to see the epic battle between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain. Not only is this a fight for revenge, but it is also a fight which will determine the future of Tyrion Lannister. Meanwhile, things get interesting in The Vale, and the Night's Watch prepares for the worst. Check out our thoughts and observations in this recap for Season 4 Episode 8 "The Mountain and The Viper," which aired June 1, 2014.
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Do They Take the Pillar and the Stones?
One of the many unlikely romances in a show full of unlikely romances progresses as Grey Worm continues his interest in Missandei despite his questionable "lack of manhood." Like schoolgirls in a locker room, Khaleesi and Missandei ponder just how much of the Unsullied's genitals were removed. Then Grey Worm comes to admit that he is glad that he was castrated because it led him to this moment, a nice honest conversation with Missandei. Which is romantic, kinda.
What did we learn?
-We did NOT learn whether or not Grey Worm still has a penis.
A Whorehouse Is No Place for Baby
Not surprisingly, it turns out a whorehouse is a bad place to raise a child. Sam's questionable decision to leave Gilly and her son in Mole's Town instead of within the walls of Castle Black turns out to be as foolish as it sounded. Mance Rayder's gang of Free Folk stormed the city and slaughtered everyone within. However, thanks to Ygritte, Gilly and her baby were the only ones spared. Sam doesn't know this, however, and ends up racked by guilt that he caused their deaths. This attack further proves that the Night's Watch is outnumbered and in for one hell of a fight.
What did we learn?
-Sam means well, but maybe he shouldn't make major decisions for other people.
-Ygritte is still alive!
Ramsay Bolton
Finally Ramsay Snow gets the attention from his father that he always wanted. He flayed, tortured, and brainwashed enough men to gain his approval and get an upgrade from Snow to Bolton.
What did we learn?
-Apparently even in Westeros, there is paperwork involved for a name change.
Jorah the Spy
Jorah's past as a spy for Varys has finally caught up with him. When a note is delivered revealing that Jorah was pardoned by Robert Baratheon, Ser Barristan Selmy deduces that he worked as a spy. Once the Khaleesi learns about his betrayal - which nearly killed her - she has no interest in hearing his explanation. She sends Jorah, King of the Friendzone, out of the city.
What did we learn?
-The Lannisters' Operation Destroy Dany has begun.
-Poor Jorah. So far, this was the most upsetting thing to happen this episode.
-She couldn't just put him out of his misery? The Khaleesi is crueler than we thought.
My Aunt Was a Jealous Lady
The trial of Littlefinger over Lysa Arryn's death is considerably less intense than Tyrion Lannister's trial, largely because everyone knew Lady Arryn was nuts. Still, why would she kill herself only days after getting married? It's a great question. While giving her testimony, the witness, Lysa's niece "Alayne" decides to reveal her true identity and tell almost the whole truth. Sansa ultimately sides with Littlefinger and presents a version of events convincing enough to get Baelish off the hook. She then tells Littlefinger that she "knows what he wants," which is creepy.
What did we learn?
-Both Sansa Stark and the actress who plays her have stepped their game up lately. Baelish has taught her well in just a few weeks.
-Robin Arryn may seem like a "sickly little boy" but we learned from Joffrey that little boys can become powerful with the right person behind them - and who better than Petyr Baelish?
I Know What You Want
We're not positive at first. Standing in the sunlight, she could really be anyone - Sansa, Lysa, even Catelyn... Oh, but yes, here she is, all grown up, draped in black feathers like a crow or something. And a necklace. Where did she find this stuff? The closets at The Eyrie must be enormous. When Littlefinger lusts looks are her, Sansa gets a naughty little glimmer in her eye. "Shall we go?"
What did we learn?
-After having her own back scratched by Baelish for so long, Sansa may finally be ready to scratch back.
Reek 'Til the Grave
Theon Greyjoy is no more, as we saw from his cowardice a few weeks ago. Now the brainwashed Reek is ordered to do his master's bidding: To pretend to be this "Theon Greyjoy" guy and trick Greyjoy loyalists into surrendering Moat Cailin, which stands between Roose Bolton and most of his army. Though Trojan horse Theon promises that that the ironborn garrison will have save passage if they surrender, their commander questions both Theon's offer and his identity - before his men turn on him. In the end, Greyjoy's men last about five minutes before being flayed alive in true Bolton fashion. It's the first disgusting thing we see this episode.
What did we learn?
-Alfie Allen is an even better Reek than he was a Theon.
A Trial by Combat
The fight between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain has finally come. Oberyn seems very sure about his prospects, and even has a few drinks before the fight. The Mountain, terrifying as ever, actually ends up being no match for the Viper's quick movements. Seriously, that is some impressive footwork. And the Red Viper has a second agenda, which makes him all the more intent on winning: The Mountain raped and murdered his sister, Elia Martell, and her children, and he wants him to admit it. Despite his smaller size, Oberyn's skills and moves are unmatched, and he manages to bring The Mountain to the ground with ease. The only thing stopping him from dealing the final blow is his repeated Inigo Montoya-style monologue about his sister's death, his obsession that he get a confession from her murderer...
What did we learn?
-Always drink before a fight. What could possibly go wrong?
Not Enough Has Been Written About Morons
The Lannister boys, Jaime and Tyrion, share what may be their last moment together in the prison cell. Tyrion reminisces about his brain-damaged cousin who smashed beetles for fun.
What did we learn?
-"Game of Thrones" really knows how to pull off humor in some scenes. This scene almost made us forget that a brutal battle was coming up next.
-George R.R. Martin and the writers of this show might all be the brain-damaged cousin, smashing all of our favorite beetles just for kicks.
The Hound and His Sidekick, Bad-Luck Arya
The Hound and Arya arrive at The Eyrie only to be informed that Lysa has been thrown out the moon door. This is now the third time that Arya has shown up too late after a family member has been murdered. At this point, all you can do is laugh (which she does).
What did we learn?
-Poison is a woman's weapon.